Control What You Can Control
When I was younger, my mother always told me to control what I could and to just leave the rest. I utilized this mentality in many different circumstances: my parents' divorce, my brothers' attention in school, renovations, other people's perceptions of me, and schooling. I loved the idea of going back to school to trump all of the people who did not believe in me, or tried to stand in my way. I made use of ratemyteacher.com, I stayed in all of my lectures, I worked my ass of to get past the fact that my first semester was a complete farce. Then, the universe kicked me right in my lady parts.
Last semester I took a course with a woman who made my blood boil. I missed her first class due to a sign on the door that stated that class would be held in another room. I understand I should have been more perceptive, but I wasn't, and in the first class the teacher did not take role. Long story short, I ended up in a class that was not correct and rushed into my correct class. I apologized profusely to my correct teacher (for sake of argument let's call her) Mrs. C and sat down. He first perception of me was that I was late... all of the time. Awesome. I tried to take everything in stride, but it seemed like ever since I walked in late there was a giant red X marked across my forehead.
I do not accuse people without legitimate reason. I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt and frequently, but when a teacher sends me an email 2 weeks into the course stating that I should just drop? There is something horribly wrong. Then we had our first assignment. We were told to look at two candidates from opposing sides and write a biography of them, gather a commercial, and write down the manuscript of the commercial for each candidate. Keep in mind, this was a group project.
I did the assignment by myself because my group decided to go hiking that weekend and it was due on that upcoming Wednesday. I checked the work with my instructor that Monday, she stated that one of the commercials that I had chosen (though for the correct side) was not filled with fallacies, so it would not work. I ended up redoing a third of the assignment, checking with her, and being informed that this commercial would work. On Wednesday, when it was time to present, I presented everything that I had gathered. The new commercial I had gathered, the fallacies, I presented everything. That upcoming Monday, when we were receiving our grades, Mrs. C told me that the commercial still did not work and that it was going to impact my grade. This was only 1/5 of the grade itself so I expected to receive either a low B or a high C. I was given a 48%. When I asked her why she once again told me that the commercial didn't work.
The rest of my semester went on in this way. I would do an assignment and be rewarded with a very low grade. Keep in mind, I have NEVER failed an English course in my life. I know how to punctuate, how to spell, and how to revise. Then I got her email:
"You're an incredible writer, but you aren't doing well in my class, you still have the opportunity to withdraw."
I withdrew.
I paid for that class out of my own pocket, and I ended up withdrawing. I was pissed. I swore I would never take another class with Mrs. C ever again.
Now this semester, I had a great thing going. I had an amazing literature class with the best teacher I had ever had in my life: Mr. J. Mr. J was funny and his class was always intriguing, but, without any notice, he left and I ended up with Mrs. C once again. SO LONG STORY SHORT, fuck the world. You will never be able to control anything, and if you try, the universe will kick you in the uterus with such ferocity that even artificial insemination will not make having children possible!
Sincerely,
Independently Lost
